Pathways
Recently I’ve found myself walking along a variety of pathways. Pathways with defined edges which feel closed in, pathways with looser, more spacious routes, and pathways which have been hard or soft underfoot.
Whilst walking with a friend at Westonbirt Arboretum this summer we reached this restful space, the Lime Tree Avenue. I’ve been to Westonbirt many times but I have never walked this avenue before, this moment felt symbolic in many ways.
Lined up side by side, each tree each had plenty of space and light, to grow in whatever way they choose. They had been planted to create a defined wide path, and the space to walk through them felt consciously more accessible by having short grass allowing a route through. I felt comforted by it and in that moment a resonance with what it meant for me. A pathway created with real intention, purpose and a destination far ahead. As soon as I saw this space it filled my heart and it felt very different than the route we had already walked to get there.
We stepped off the main pathway, and stood admiring the tree avenue for a few minutes. We walked along the avenue of trees, it took us in a different direction than the designated route we had been on. Stepping off of a stone path and now feeling the softness of the earth holding us beneath our feet.
As we walked we shared how we were progressing with the start of our self-employment journeys after many years working in fast-paced corporates. Sharing fears, excitement and the desire for clarity over the coming months.
It felt like the avenue was an invitation, one to walk down and see where it would take us and a path more open than we’ve perhaps been along before. For me perhaps it felt like a calling, to lean into the space, savour the light and the softness underfoot, and choose our my route through, walking at whatever speed I choose along the path.
New pathways have been opening up for me this year which are leading to what I feel are distinct shifts in my identity but in some ways are bringing me back to who I am already. Some are made by choice, others by circumstance and all have a new chapter associated with them, each with what feel like pivotal endings and beginnings.
In the past fortnight my daughter started school, a shift for her and a shift for me. Our world is now organised by terms and it takes me back into the yearly rhythm which feels familiar yet so distant.
During late autumn I hope to bring my new business to life. Over the past few months I’ve been working on my plan, creating the bones of all parts of the business and shifting into a new way of working. My work is intentionally going to be structured around term times and as much as possible school hours to create a sustainable business for our family life and my ambitions for a work life.
As our daughter heads to school for her first full day in the class room next week, I’m heading back into a learning environment for part of the week too.
I’m adding to my portfolio career in a way which feels so resonant with many parts of me, bringing together those parts I left behind a long time ago fused with the parts of me which are present now. I’ve been passionate about plants and horticulture for most of my adult life, have been gardening in a variety of spaces since 2009, and so working with gardens feels like something special both a hobby and an aspiration. I decided I wanted to learn more about garden design and horticulture. Almost a year after making a decision about how I thought I could pivot my career I’m starting a course, attending in person once a week for teaching and continuing my learning and practical work at home. Garden design will become part of the ecosystem of my business in time. I’m excited about what direction this work will take me in and I have some plans which feel significant.
When I take a step back from these new pathways, they each sit alongside one other and are all interconnected. All three need my energy in different ways. During the summer I felt very aware I’m stretching my comfort zone and I’ve made a conscious choice to hold compassion and kindness at the heart of it all. Progress not perfection is my intention for the time ahead.
In the next few months I plan to visit this beautiful pathway again, and hope to see it in every season, taking in the shifts in nature and the shifts in me as I make small steps along the new pathway I’m on.